The Tudors: Headdesk

Henry marries wife #5, childish bimbo Katherine Howard and is too focused on trying to provoke war with France to notice that a sociopathic manservant covets Kate.

The Tudors: Just Messing With You!

Henry takes the hate part of his love-hate relationship with Cromwell a little too far and has the man executed. Mary has her marital hopes dashed yet again, and her father starts sleeping with a dumb blonde younger than she is.

The Tudors: Sketchy

Henry sends Holbein all over Europe to sketch potential brides while persecuting the entire Pole family back in England to try and draw Reginald out.

The Tudors: Fool

While Henry spends his days locked up with Argus Filch and drawing dream castles, the court descends into chaos. Also, Bryan totally sucks at his job.

The Tudors: Everybody Dies

Charles Brandon sets about slaughtering random people up north, to teach them a lesson. Aske is hanged at York, and Jane finally gives Henry a son, but doesn’t live long enough to enjoy it.

The Tudors: Merry Christmas!

Jane’s pregnant and Henry’s got his family back together! Best Christmas ever! Then he beheads Darcy, imprisons Aske, sends Brandon north to needlessly slaughter thousands, and gets a really ugly painting. Worst Christmas ever!

The Tudors: Northern Exposure

Things get so bad up north that Henry has to pretend to give in to the rebels’ demands across the board, even as he plots to stab them in the back.

The Tudors: Peace and War

Just as peace is restored to Henry’s family (at least, partially), a bunch of commoners up north start to get really, really pissed off about the pillage of the monasteries.

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