Previously on The Great British Bake Off: Flora finally bowed out, and then there were three.

Tamal, Ian, and Nadiya suit up in the tent. Nadiya whispers to Tamal that she’s really nervous. We’re reminded of how excellent they’ve all been thus far. Remember when Nadiya used to come in last in the technicals? She’s really turned that around, hasn’t she? Apparently, Ian keeps a journal. For those of you who like to know these things.

Judges and presenters appear and holy cow, who’s dressing Mel and Sue? Their outfits are almost engrossingly bad. Thankfully, the camera cuts away from them quickly so they can give the first challenge: two types of filled iced buns.

Continue reading “The Great British Bake Off: Heaven on a Plate”

Previously on the Great British Bake Off: Patisserie proved too much for Baker Paul, while Nadiya clinched Star Baker again, even though her bubblegum éclairs sounded frankly disgusting.

Semifinals, folks! Where has the time gone? It’s chocolate week. Yum! For their first challenge, they have to make a chocolate tart.

Everyone’s quite tense and nervous. Paul unnecessarily tells us that there’s now no room for error. Mary says that these have to be perfect and have a superb flavor.

SueVO tells us that cocoa pastry needs just enough liquid to bind it. Yeah, doing a chocolate pastry can be a bit difficult, because cocoa obviously doesn’t have gluten, so it won’t form any structure at all.

Continue reading “The Great British Bake Off: Cocoa Loco”

Previously on The Great British Bake Off: We went back to the 19^th century for Victorian week and learned that the Victorians really loved gelatin and ate something called tennis cake. Tamal rocked it, while Mat floundered.

It’s the quarterfinals, folks, and things are getting tense. Everyone gathers in the tent and is told they need to make cream horns. Two flavours, twelve of each flavor. Off they go. Nadiya remembers her last grapple with puff pastry and says she really needs to not screw this one up.

Paul prefers a full puff pastry (as opposed to rough puff) for a cream horn. Mary needs her horns really full of filling.

Continue reading “The Great British Bake Off: We Like it Rough”

Previously on The Great British Bake Off: The Bakewells had to make desserts, which included crèmes brulees, some crazy meringue cake that I’m pretty sure Mary Berry just made up, and an insane number of cheesecakes. Ian triumphed once again, while Sandy peaced out.

This is apparently ‘do without’ week—do without gluten, sugar, and dairy. I hate this sort of baking. It never quite tastes right.

Everyone agrees that Ian’s the one to beat just now. Well, yeah. But it’s all in good fun, because this is the Bake Off, the nicest competition show in the history of television.

Continue reading “Ugne’s Ugly Bakes”