Game of Thrones: The Red Wedding

freyweddingPreviously on Game of Thrones: Robb agreed to marry his uncle Edmure to a Frey daughter, so the whole family’s off to a wedding. Also going to the wedding is Arya, in the hands of the Hound, who plans to ransom her back to her family. Jon Snow’s still wandering around with the Wildlings, and Dany’s planning to take over Yunkai with her Fabio-lite partner, Daario.

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Game of Thrones: Here Comes the Bride

Game-of-Thrones-S3E8-03Previously on Game of Thrones: Dany decided she wanted to free all the slaves in the next city in her path, Tyrion was forced into an engagement with Sansa, Gendry was handed over to Melisandre, and Arya found herself a hostage of the Hound.

Arya wakes, gets her bearings, and picks up a giant rock lying nearby before sneaking up on the sleeping Hound. She raises the rock above her head, ready to strike, but he wakes and tells her to go ahead and kill him, but if she fails to do so, he’ll break both her hands. She doesn’t kill him, and he doesn’t break her hands, by the look of it.

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Game of Thrones: On the Road

Game-of-Thrones-DuelPreviously on Game of Thrones: We played catch-up with about half the cast. Dany’s on her way to Westros by sea, stopping off to pick up a brand-new army and a new sidekick—a former member of the Kingsguard. Robb’s still on the move and still mad at his mom; Sansa’s still trapped in King’s Landing, where Margaery’s winning over the common folk and pissing off Cersei. Tyrion’s being crapped on by his family, and Jon’s trying to fit in with Mance Rayder and his Wildlings.

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Game of Thrones: Your Own Private Assassin

Previously on Game of Thrones: Melisandre gave birth to Stannis’s freaky smoke-baby. Arya and her fellow prisoners were taken to Harranhal, a rather horrific place where they were nearly tortured to death. Fortunately Tywin Lannister saved them and made Arya his new cupbearer. Theon took the first steps toward being welcomed back into his family fold, and Daenerys found refuge for her tribe and baby dragons.

I’m so woefully behind on these. I’m sorry, everybody. I spent the weekend getting caught up with The Borgias, mostly because the names in that are easier to spell. Yeah, I know, lazy. But here I am, back in Game of Thrones Land, so let’s get started.

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