The Great British Bake Off: Brilliant Biscuits

11891166_879375068812818_8680916800360836348_nPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: We kicked off with cake week and met our new batch of Bakewells. Marie’s steady but outstanding work won her star baker, Dorret’s black forest cake collapsed into a Bingate-worthy puddle, and Stu was shown the door.

Biscuit week! The Bakewells roll into the tent while Mel and Sue welcome us. Once everyone’s settled, the Signature is announced: 24 biscotti. Mmm, my mum makes some really delicious polenta biscotti. Her grandmother’s recipe, I think. They have two hours. Mary tells us that biscotti are unusual because they’re twice baked. Paul thinks he and Mary both have similar tastes in biscotti: Cranberry, hazelnut, and chocolate.

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The Great British Bake Off: Back to Basics

bakeoff-14_3066651cPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: Richard the Builder, Nancy, and Luis killed it, overcame all the competition, and made it to the final.

We’re reminded of the three finalists’ awesomeness: Richard’s éclair stair and amazing biscuit pirate scene, Nancy’s beautiful first-challenge orange and chocolate cakes, Luis’s delicious looking filled bread and spicy dragon biscuit.

Mel, Sue, and the judges enter the tent to deliver the first challenge: Viennoiserie—an assortment of pastries such as pain au chocolat. They have to make two types. And they’re off!

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The Great British Bake Off: Pretty Patisserie

capture3.jpgPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: We’ve had dough week, but then there was advanced dough week, which meant filled sweet breads and doughnuts. Once again, Richard rocked, while Martha’s overproved doughnuts sealed her fate.

Mel and Sue welcome us back for the semifinal. Semifinal already! They adopt strange fake French accents because it’s patisserie week.

Luis interviews that, at this point, the judges are going to be super critical. Unlike the total pussycats they’ve been up until now. Chetna can’t wait to get in and start baking this week. Nancy says that one side of her wouldn’t be too disappointed if she left now, having made it this far, while the other side is telling her to buck up and get to the final. Richard’s just trying to keep the momentum going.

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The Great British Bake Off: Mmmmm, Dooooooughnuts

Image: BBC
Image: BBC

Previously on the Great British Bakeoff: Pastry, pastry everywhere. Richard won star baker for the third time while Martha just managed to squeak by and Kate got sent home.

It’s the quarterfinals, folks! I really feel like this is anyone’s game. I think Nancy’s very likely to make it to the finals (unless she massively screws up this week), but as for the others, I feel like it could be anyone.

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The Great British Bake Off: Crying Over Choux

bakeoff-8_3042157cPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: It was European cakes week, and the Bakewells were tasked with yeast-leavened cake, princess torte, and towering dobos tortes. Paul and Mary apparently had the decision-making ability of that idiotic woman from the Better Together commercial and couldn’t agree on who to send home, so they just kept everyone.

Pastry week, people. Get your hot water boiling and your rough puff folding!

Kate’s really excited about the good weather and the singing birds. Mary’s wearing an epically ugly jacket.

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The Great British Bake Off: Eurocake

Image by Smitten Kitchen
Image by Smitten Kitchen

Previously on The Great British Bake Off: After the Great Baked Alaska drama, we had a return to form as the bakers settled down and made some crazy custards, pears, and three-tiered pies. Kate came out on top, and Norman was finally sent packing after trying to go risky by making the most disgusting-sounding meringue in history.

It’s European cakes week (I guess when it comes to pastry Britain isn’t considered part of Europe), and in a send-up of Eurovision, Mel and Sue put on bad accents to welcome us. I have no idea what Sue’s accent is supposed to be. American? Dutch? Dutch-American?

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The Great British Bake Off: Get a Pieful

Kate-Bake-Off-piePreviously on The Great British Bake Off: Some hateful producers forced the Bakewells to make ice cream-based desserts on the hottest day of the year with two freezers completely non-functional. Diana apparently took Iain’s dessert out of the freezer and just left it sitting out, which naturally turned it into a Lake Alaska (courtesy: Sue). In a fit of pique, Iain binned it and was unceremoniously sent off by Paul and Mary.

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The Great British Bake Off: Meltdown

gbbo-baked-alaskaPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: Bread! Lots and lots of bread. It was a carbfest. Luis blew everyone away with his amazing bakes, and Jordan failed to rise to the challenge.

It’s dessert week, and to start off, they need to make a self-saucing pudding. Eight of them, actually. They get started. Paul says the key thing with these is to keep the sponge light, so it bakes fast. Mary adds that the sauce needs to have some texture and the right consistency.

Luis admits that puddings aren’t his strength and he finds them kind of risky, what with the sponge plus moisture.

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The Great British Bake Off: Are You Trying to Get a Rise Out of Me?

gbbo-bread-rollsPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: The Bakewells built some truly amazing 3-D biscuit scenes, and Enwezor’s Bake Off journey came to an end.

Bread week, everybody! This is so squarely in my wheelhouse you can just go ahead and call me pilot. I make bread every week, at least once, so I love bread week on the GBBO.

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The Great British Bakeoff: The Pirate King

Image: BBC via Hello MagazinePreviously on The Great British Bakeoff: There was cake, Nancy rocked, and Claire was sent home after a supremely bad weekend.

Biscuits! The Bakewells parade into the tent while Mel and Sue crack fortune cookies and use them to slag each other off. Bakewells are welcomed back and given their signature challenge: savoury biscuits. 36 of them. They need to go well with cheese. In Sue’s words, ‘they need to be cheesier than an Abba tribute band at an all-night fondue party.’ Heh. Paul and Mary discuss various types of biscuits and their characteristics: water crackers need a snap, digestives need a crumble.

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