Game of Thrones: No One

Tyrion sees Varys off on a mission in episode 8 of season 6 of Game of thronesPreviously on Game of Thrones: Arya got gut stabbed by the Waif, Jamie besieged Riverrun, and the Hound is alive and out for some revenge.

Lady Crane is onstage, giving a standout performance that brings the audience to tears. The applause and cheers are plentiful, and she bows and retreats backstage, where she hears a noise. Understandably wary, she goes to investigate and finds Arya on her bed, holding her wounded belly.

Lady Crane tends to her, bandaging her wounds (a skill she picked up after having inflicted a few herself, on unreliable lovers). We learn that the actress who went after Lady Crane is no longer with the company, and Lady C messed her face up pretty good, so she’s probably not going to be acting again anywhere soon. Lady C offers Arya a job with the company, now they’re down an actress, but Arya declines, choosing instead to explore the world.

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Game of Thrones: The Broken Man

Sandor Clegane, aka The HoundPreviously on Game of Thrones: Sansa and Jon left Castle Black to start recruiting Northern families to their army; Jaime got kicked out of the Kingsguard and sent to re-take Riverrun, which is also about to be beset by Freys; Arya ditched the Faceless Men; and Margaery was released after apparently becoming SUPER devout.

Hey! Pre-credits sequence! Have we had one of those before? Some guys are building something out in the middle of nowhere. It’s rough still, but it’s going to be a sept. Ooh! Ian McShane! He appears to be the man in charge, urging the others on and looking up proudly at the rising building. Men carry heavy logs toward the building site; one of them is able to carry one of the huge logs all by himself because he’s…The Hound! All sorts of resurrections this season.

Speaking of resurrections, let’s welcome Riverrun back to the opening credits.

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Game of Thrones: Blood of My Blood

Benjen Stark in Game of ThronesPreviously on Game of Thrones: Because Bran’s a bit of an idiot, the Night King was able to find their hideaway and attack with his White Walker army, killing Hodor, who managed to hold the zombie hoard back just long enough for Bran and Meera to escape. Dany took over the Dothraki, Arya was given one more assignment for the Faceless Men, and Jaime and Cersei convinced the Tyrells that the only way forward was to bring an army into King’s Landing.

Meera staggers through the snow, dragging Bran, who’s still all warg-ed out. Jesus, Bran, WAKE UP! Not that he could do much, but this is starting to seem a bit indulgent. He’s having strange flashes of visions: the Night King turning that baby into a Walker, wildfire being set off, the mad king calling for everyone to be burned.

Meera can’t keep going, though she gives it a really good try. Bran finally returns to the here and now and tells Meera that they’ve been found. She weeps and apologises as the first of the Walkers descend.

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Penny Dreadful: A Blade of Grass

pennydreadful3040075rjpgPreviously on Penny Dreadful: Vanessa found out that Dracula’s met up with her before—when she was a patient at the Banning Clinic—so she demanded Seward hypnotize her so she could remember. At the start of the hypnosis, she discovered that the orderly at the clinic was none other than Cal.

Seward asks Vanessa to describe the orderly, which takes us back to Vanessa in the Clinic, literally clawing the walls. Cal brings her food, but she refuses to eat, and after a few (or several) days of this, he gently urges her to eat, warning her that starving herself will have consequences. Those consequences are forced feeding, which Cal has to administer. Well, this relationship’s gotten off to a great start. Cal clearly hates doing this.

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Game of Thrones: The Door

Larson-GameofThronesThedoor-1200Previously on Game of Thrones: Sansa convinced Jon to retake Winterfell, Dany took over the Dothraki, Tyrion started playing ball with the other slave states in order to undercut the Sons of the Harpy, and Bran took a trip through his family history.

Sansa receives a message from Petyr, asking her for a meeting in Mole’s Town. She goes, sensibly taking Brienne with her, but man, is the meek and weak little girl he knew before gone. Petyr tells her he’s brought the Knights of the Vale to help her. Sansa wonders where the hell that help was when Ramsay was torturing her. She coldly orders him to guess what sorts of horrible things Ramsay did to her. Petyr doesn’t know what to say, but when Brienne puts a hand to her sword and orders him to answer, he hazards a few guesses. He insists he didn’t know about Ramsay, which is bullshit—there’s no way someone as well-informed as Petyr didn’t know about that sadist. Ramsay was notorious for his proclivities. Petyr apologises and promises to go back to protecting her, but Sansa doesn’t believe he can or will. He offers to do whatever she wants, even unto his death. She orders him to leave and take his knights with him, because she and Jon will take the North on their own and she doesn’t want anything to do with him. Before he goes, Petyr gives her one bit of news: her uncle Brynden has retaken Riverrun, so they could have some valuable support there.

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Penny Dreadful: Good and Evil Braided Be

penny_dreadful_3-3Previously on Penny Dreadful: Lily and Dorian adopted a young woman so they could start building an army to get revenge on horrible men. Victor began working with Jekyll to find a cure for Lily, Ethan was freed by his inner werewolf and Hecate, and Vanessa started seeing a psychiatrist and dating Dracula (though she doesn’t know about that last bit).

Ethan dreams of seeing Kaetenay again, and this time the man’s face is covered in blood. Ethan wakes in a barn with Hecate sitting nearby, watching him. She offers him water, face glowing like a true fangirl, and he takes it, hesitantly. He realises he has to get away, because the authorities will be after him soon for the latest massacre. Hecate insists on going with him, and when he tries to shake her, she points out that she not only followed him across an ocean and a continent, she also kind of just saved his ass, so he doesn’t get to order her to get lost.

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Game of Thrones: Book of the Stranger

Screenshot-201-1200x675Previously on People Sitting Around Westros Talking About All the Things They’ll Do but Not Actually Doing Much: Well, that pretty much says it all, but also—Jon came back from the dead and executed his own executioners, Dany was captured by the Dothraki, Rickon was handed over to Ramsay, and Theon went home.

Edd’s clearly not all that keen on being Lord Commander (and considering what happened to the last one, who can blame him?) and tries to convince Jon to stay, but Jon’s mind is made up: he wants to leave and go south and thaw out. Fair enough.

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Penny Dreadful: Predators Far and Near

Lily gets ready to serve up some delicious revengePreviously on Penny Dreadful: Vanessa started seeing a psychiatrist, Dr Seward, whose secretary has been recruited by Dracula. She also met a nice zoologist named Dr Sweet. An American Indian named Kaetenay collected Malcolm so they can go to America and rescue Ethan, who’s already been liberated from the federal marshals by men working for his father.

The producers are clearly really hoping to get their money’s worth out of this Chinatown set, because now Dorian and Lily are there, heading into a club where the man in charge confirms they know exactly what they’re in for. Oh, they do. They soooo do. They’re taken into a room where they sit in a circle with a lot of other well-dressed men. Lily is the only woman present. The men are practically licking their lips. There’s also a large man there dressed up like an executioner, standing in front of a rack of very wicked looking instruments.

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Game of Thrones: Oathbreaker

Larson-GameofThrones2-1200Previously on Game of Thrones: Bran got to check out his family history, thanks to the Three-Eyed Raven, Arya was taken back to the House of Black and White, Dany was taken prisoner by the Dothraki, and Jon Snow was brought back to life.

The newly resurrected Jon Snow sits up as a shocked Davos watches and Ghost gives him a: ‘took you long enough!’ look. Jon gasps for air and shakes, looking terrified, and lurches off the table he was on. Davos catches him and asks him what he remembers. Jon remembers being stabbed to death, which must make this super freaky for him. He even remembers Olly dealing the death blow. He knows he should be dead. Davos explains that Melisandre brought him back. She steps forward and asks him what the afterlife was like. Nonexistent, apparently. She insists that the Lord brought him back for a reason. She thinks he’s the Prince that was Promised, now Stannis is out of the picture.

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Game of Thrones: Home

36190303rooseramsay1280-1460482372223_largePreviously on Game of Thrones: Bran went north of the Wall to train with the three-eyed raven, which is now a man. Arya lost her sight and was kicked out of the House of Black and White; Thorne promised amnesty to Davos and Jon’s remaining loyal friends, though they all know that’s total BS; and Tyrion tried to figure out what the hell to do with Meereen.

Bran’s in his training, and has somehow been sent back to Winterfell to watch his dad and uncle Benjen play fighting as children. Their sister, Lyanna, rides into the courtyard. Bran’s delighted to see her, since he’s only ever known her as a statue. She dismounts and calls for Wylis, whom Bran recognises as a young Hodor. And he talks! Lyanna urges Wylis to do some practice fighting with Benjen, giving him a tip before he gets started, but then Nan comes out and hustles Wylis away and back to the stables where he belongs. The Raven tells Bran it’s time to go and recalls him to reality.

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