The Great British Bake Off: Heaven on a Plate

12122611_907630309320627_540592188338083242_nPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: Flora finally bowed out, and then there were three.

Tamal, Ian, and Nadiya suit up in the tent. Nadiya whispers to Tamal that she’s really nervous. We’re reminded of how excellent they’ve all been thus far. Remember when Nadiya used to come in last in the technicals? She’s really turned that around, hasn’t she? Apparently, Ian keeps a journal. For those of you who like to know these things.

Judges and presenters appear and holy cow, who’s dressing Mel and Sue? Their outfits are almost engrossingly bad. Thankfully, the camera cuts away from them quickly so they can give the first challenge: two types of filled iced buns.

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The Great British Bake Off: Cocoa Loco

12074531_904415872975404_1787862421670097854_nPreviously on the Great British Bake Off: Patisserie proved too much for Baker Paul, while Nadiya clinched Star Baker again, even though her bubblegum éclairs sounded frankly disgusting.

Semifinals, folks! Where has the time gone? It’s chocolate week. Yum! For their first challenge, they have to make a chocolate tart.

Everyone’s quite tense and nervous. Paul unnecessarily tells us that there’s now no room for error. Mary says that these have to be perfect and have a superb flavor.

SueVO tells us that cocoa pastry needs just enough liquid to bind it. Yeah, doing a chocolate pastry can be a bit difficult, because cocoa obviously doesn’t have gluten, so it won’t form any structure at all.

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The Great British Bake Off: We Like it Rough

12002227_901069313310060_569845212033882602_nPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: We went back to the 19th century for Victorian week and learned that the Victorians really loved gelatin and ate something called tennis cake. Tamal rocked it, while Mat floundered.

It’s the quarterfinals, folks, and things are getting tense. Everyone gathers in the tent and is told they need to make cream horns. Two flavours, twelve of each flavor. Off they go. Nadiya remembers her last grapple with puff pastry and says she really needs to not screw this one up.

Paul prefers a full puff pastry (as opposed to rough puff) for a cream horn. Mary needs her horns really full of filling.

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Ugne’s Ugly Bakes

10481735_889647751118883_5941823359506950236_nPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: The Bakewells had to make desserts, which included crèmes brulees, some crazy meringue cake that I’m pretty sure Mary Berry just made up, and an insane number of cheesecakes. Ian triumphed once again, while Sandy peaced out.

This is apparently ‘do without’ week—do without gluten, sugar, and dairy. I hate this sort of baking. It never quite tastes right.

Everyone agrees that Ian’s the one to beat just now. Well, yeah. But it’s all in good fun, because this is the Bake Off, the nicest competition show in the history of television.

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The Great British Bake Off: Back to Basics

bakeoff-14_3066651cPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: Richard the Builder, Nancy, and Luis killed it, overcame all the competition, and made it to the final.

We’re reminded of the three finalists’ awesomeness: Richard’s éclair stair and amazing biscuit pirate scene, Nancy’s beautiful first-challenge orange and chocolate cakes, Luis’s delicious looking filled bread and spicy dragon biscuit.

Mel, Sue, and the judges enter the tent to deliver the first challenge: Viennoiserie—an assortment of pastries such as pain au chocolat. They have to make two types. And they’re off!

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The Great British Bake Off: Pretty Patisserie

capture3.jpgPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: We’ve had dough week, but then there was advanced dough week, which meant filled sweet breads and doughnuts. Once again, Richard rocked, while Martha’s overproved doughnuts sealed her fate.

Mel and Sue welcome us back for the semifinal. Semifinal already! They adopt strange fake French accents because it’s patisserie week.

Luis interviews that, at this point, the judges are going to be super critical. Unlike the total pussycats they’ve been up until now. Chetna can’t wait to get in and start baking this week. Nancy says that one side of her wouldn’t be too disappointed if she left now, having made it this far, while the other side is telling her to buck up and get to the final. Richard’s just trying to keep the momentum going.

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The Great British Bake Off: Crying Over Choux

bakeoff-8_3042157cPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: It was European cakes week, and the Bakewells were tasked with yeast-leavened cake, princess torte, and towering dobos tortes. Paul and Mary apparently had the decision-making ability of that idiotic woman from the Better Together commercial and couldn’t agree on who to send home, so they just kept everyone.

Pastry week, people. Get your hot water boiling and your rough puff folding!

Kate’s really excited about the good weather and the singing birds. Mary’s wearing an epically ugly jacket.

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The Great British Bake Off: Are You Trying to Get a Rise Out of Me?

gbbo-bread-rollsPreviously on The Great British Bake Off: The Bakewells built some truly amazing 3-D biscuit scenes, and Enwezor’s Bake Off journey came to an end.

Bread week, everybody! This is so squarely in my wheelhouse you can just go ahead and call me pilot. I make bread every week, at least once, so I love bread week on the GBBO.

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The Great British Bakeoff: Bread

hi resPreviously on The Great British Bakeoff: Toby crashed and burned fairly spectacularly, Ruby nearly had a breakdown, crème curdled, we remembered that salt is not, in fact, sugar, and Rob was the standout.

Bread day! This makes me happy because I am a very regular, longtime bread baker myself, so I feel like I’m actually on pretty familiar ground. Bread is Paul Hollywood’s strongest suit as well, and he tends to be pretty hard on the bakers on bread day. And it’s only the second week. Ooof.

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