Pan Am: Rescue Me

Previously on Pan Am: Laura ran away from her wedding with her sister Kate’s help, then followed Kate into the exciting world of stewardessing. Collette had her little French heart fractured a bit, while pilot Dean had his broken into a million pieces when his girlfriend, Bridget, disappeared. Her disappearance is probably connected to the spying she was doing for the British government, which Kate will be taking over from now on.

Dean seems to have recovered rather well. He’s driving toward the airport in his nifty convertible, smiling happily as he takes in the sight of the Pan Am building. As luck would have it, he spots Colette stranded by the side of the road and offers to give her a lift, with a bit of cute banter between the two of them that reveals they’re both on their way to Paris. Colette agrees to bring him dinner and coffee during the flight, if he does something for her. You mean, something other than drive you to the airport so you don’t miss your flight and lose your job?

Kate’s waiting impatiently for Laura, who emerges from their apartment building lugging half a dozen suitcases. Before they leave, Laura pulls out a drawing she did when she was little of the two of them standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. They’re both super excited to finally be going.

Dean loads Colette’s things into his trunk and reluctantly gets in the passenger side, because Colette’s driving. She peels out, and we get our title card. Pan Am had such a pretty logo.

Airport. Laura’s walking through the terminal, reading a tourist guide aloud to Maggie, who’s also going to be on the flight, of course. Isn’t it convenient how these people always wind up flying together? They pass Colette having a laugh with Dean and wave her over. As she leaves, Dean joins his navigator, Sanjeev, who congratulates him on getting back in the saddle so quickly. Dean insists he doesn’t have anything going on with Colette, but Sanjeev doesn’t believe him.

The girls are doing their pre-flight weigh-in and talking about the best spot to get pain au chocolat in Paris. Scary Den Mother advises Laura to lay off, because she’s gained another pound, that cow. Pretty soon they’ll be charging her excess baggage fees. Laura sadly steps off the scale as someone calls Kate aside to take a call from her father. Maggie steps up to the scale and dares Den Mother to get up on the scale herself, snarking that there must be an ideal weight for looking down on others. Is Maggie trying to get fired? What a stupid thing to say. And yes, the woman might be a bit harsh, but she’s actually just doing her job. Pan Am stewardesses at the time were supposed to look a certain way, that’s how the company wanted it. Fair? No, but that’s the way it was. Don’t like it? Rejoin your beatnik friends in the Village, Maggie.

Ted the co-pilot steps in and rescues her and the other girls, smoothing things over with Den Mother and whisking them away for the flight.

In the terminal, Kate picks up a dangling payphone receiver, but there’s no one on the other end because it was all just a ruse by her CIA contact, Richard, to get her out to the terminal for her next assignment. She asks him what happened with Bridget and he tells her not to worry about it. He then hands her a small box and tells her not to open it before she hands it over to a contact in Paris, who will identify him or herself using a code involving military and regular time. Kate starts to repeat her instructions back to him, but then she gets distracted by the sight of her mother moving through the terminal, and Richard yells at her for sucking at remembering her basic training. Basic training? For some reason, I’m envisioning her having to do some sort of obstacle course in her stewardess’s outfit. She reassures him she can handle it, then hauls ass onto the plane.

There, she finds the manifest and skims it until she finds Mommy Dearest’s name. Great. She heads back toward coach, grabs Laura, and tells her their mom’s on the plane.

Up in the cockpit, the boys are talking about girls. Sanjeev can’t believe Dean’s not doing more to track down Bridget. Uh, she ditched this guy pretty thoroughly. When you quit your job and flee your apartment, it’s a pretty clear sign you don’t want to see someone ever again, Sanjeev. I think Dean understands that better than you do.

Colette comes in with Dean’s dinner, and the guys immediately start talking about sports. Heh. When she’s gone, Ted eagerly asks why Colette’s bringing his dinner.

In first class, Maggie pulls up to one passenger’s seat with snacks. He flirtatiously jokes with her, and she jokes back before handing him something and moving along. He obviously checks out her ass as she goes.

In the galley, Kate and Laura are still wondering what their mother’s doing on the plane. Maggie tells them at least one of them is going to have to head back there and face her, because Colette’s working economy all by her lonesome. So, they do the mature thing and play rock, paper, scissors. Laura loses and tells Kate she just can’t do it. Jesus, Laura, grow a frigging spine. What’s your mother going to do on a plane? Because she’s kind of a pushover, Kate goes. Kate, you grow a spine too. Tell your sister to stop relying on you for absolutely everything.

Ahh, our first flashback of the evening. After fleeing Laura’s wedding, the two girls are holed up in a diner, where Laura’s getting some curious looks from the other diners. Kate returns from calling their father and tells Laura he’s threatened to call the state troopers and declare his car stolen if they didn’t return. Laura freaks out a little bit, realizing what’s she’s just done, but Kate insists she just stood up for herself. Laura, correctly, says she did the opposite of standing up for herself—she ran away. And they didn’t even do that too well, because their mother’s already managed to track them down. Laura, of course, ducks down to hide, so Kate goes out to confront their mom, who’s mad as hell. The waitress arrives with coffee and gives Laura a look that says: “you’re kind of a mess, aren’t you?”

Kate reaches her mother’s seat and shortly greets her parent, who snippily says she thought she might have caught the wrong flight. The lady across the aisle comments on Kate’s resemblance to Laura, which she noticed because mom’s got a copy of Life magazine with Laura on the cover. Kate turns around and returns to first class, where she tells Laura mom’s all hers.

Flirty in First Class takes a swig of his drink and checks out Maggie’s ass again as she bends over in the galley. She straightens up, notices him, and pulls the curtain. Undeterred, he gets up and heads into the galley, where she greets him with a tight smile and calls him by name, which he’s happy to notice she’s learned. She informs him it’s her job to know the name of the passengers paying a mint to be on board. She asks if she can help him with something, and he drunkenly and creepily leans in toward her. She suggests he’d be more comfortable in his seat, but he doesn’t take the hint and instead grabs her and kisses her. Maggie grabs the nearest weapon—a fork of some kind—and stabs him in the side. He jumps away, hurt, but not seriously, and she angrily informs him she’s not included in the price of his ticket.

Laura finally works up the nerve to approach her mother’s seat, bearing her favorite cocktail and apologizing for taking so long to get back there. Mom invites her to sit, and there’s a tense silence for a few seconds. Laura guesses her mom’s going to yell at her for humiliating her in front of the family’s friends and the DAR. Mom interrupts to tell Laura she misses her. That surprises Laura, because mom hasn’t called her since she left, even though Laura wrote to her. Mom sadly says she thought Laura might just come home, because she thought Laura needed her. Laura tearfully tells her mother that she does, which mom is happy to hear. And as for the DAR gossips, well, having her daughter on the cover of Life helped a lot. So all is now well between them.

In the galley, Maggie and Kate are talking about the Drunken Groper. Kate says Maggie needs to report him, but Maggie says she can’t because she kind of assaulted him right back. Colette comes in just in time to hear that and Kate quickly catches her up. DG bangs around in the lavatory, calling out for a band aid, and Colette leaves to find the first aid kit. She’s replaced by Laura, who asks if she can move her mom to first class. Maggie’s fine with that, but Kate wonders what the deal is, since Laura was terrified of their mom a few minutes ago, and now she wants to upgrade her. Well, yes, Laura, sounds like they had a heart-to-heart. Or Laura wants to appease her mad mom. Why are you so surprised she’d want to upgrade her for one of those reasons? Kate reminds her sister that their mother is a master manipulator and stomps out as Dean emerges from the cockpit to use the lavatory. Colette tells him there’s an airsick passenger in there, so Dean cools his heels, noticing that Maggie’s nervously downing some water. He asks her if everything’s ok and she brightly and fakely tells him everything’s awesome, just great! She and Laura slip out and Dean chats a bit with Colette about what they’re going to do in Paris. He’s planning to visit a club he went to once. Three guesses who he went with.

Flashback 2! We’re in Paris six months earlier, and Dean’s in the club, dancing with Bridget, whose long, frizzy, crazy hair is starting to really seem out of place on this show. It’s the early sixties, folks. She needs about 15 more pounds of hairspray in there. They finish their dance and head to a table, meeting the manager on the way. He and Bridget are apparently good friends, and they chat for a little while in French, which Dean clearly doesn’t speak. Bridget introduces Dean to the manager, Gaspard, who offers her champagne and speeds off to get it.

She and Dean continue toward the table, but they’re intercepted yet again by a British man, who calls her beautiful, annoying Dean, and then asks for the time, which she gives as 22:30. He repeats that back as 11:30, which is incorrect, as she tells him. This is the exact trick Kate was talking about with Richard in the beginning. Englishman apologizes, explaining he was never much good with military time. Ok, but every time I’ve been in England, the time’s always been given as military time, so that’s not an excuse that really works. Englishman calls Dean a lucky man and shoves off. Bridget leaves Dean to go visit the ladies’ room, as Gaspard arrives with the champagne. Dean sips and spots Bridget at the bar being intercepted by Englishman, who appears to be having some sort of confrontation with her. Dean hurries out to intercede, but the guy leaves just before he gets to her. She tells him the guy was just being a jerk, but Dean’s got his hackles up and is ready to rumble. Sadly, Englishman is nowhere to be found.

Back on the flight, Drunken Groper’s somehow managed to get hold of Ted and is trying to find out how to formally complain about Maggie’s attack. Maggie throws around a bunch of attitude, but Ted reassures the guy she’ll be disciplined and dispatches the man to his seat with the promise of a drink, like this guy needs more. Ted expects Maggie to be grateful that he saved her job, but she’s pissed instead that he didn’t defend her. Ted tells her to start playing her cards smarter if she wants to stay employed. Maggie makes him deliver DG’s drink.

As the flight’s landing, Laura reports to Kate that mom wants to have dinner with them. Kate’s sure mom only wants to meet up with Laura, but Laura believes their mom’s a bit lonely and wants them both there. Kate doubts it, because mom’s never jumped on a plane for her.

Flashback 3. Kate’s at home, packing up Laura’s stuff because Laura’s too much of a damn coward to do it herself, and Kate’s a total enabler. Mom nags and nags the whole time and blames Kate for the whole thing. Kate slams shut the suitcases and heads out the front door, breaking the news to her mother that Laura’s applying to be a stewardess. Mom blanches and reacts like Laura’s applying to be a pole dancer.

Kate whirls out the door and starts loading suitcases into the waiting cab while mom goes back to nagging, telling Kate she shouldn’t infect Laura with her own dissatisfaction, because Laura’s a special little snowflake and needs to be nurtured and cared for. I’ll say. Kate tells her mom how awesome her life is as a stewardess and how lame her mother’s passportless life is. Mom starts to cry and says that Laura needs her, but Kate knows Laura will be fine, because once upon a time, she needed her mom too, and she learned to deal without her. She gets in the cab and speeds off.

The crew has arrived in Paris, and Colette and Maggie are sound asleep in their hotel room. Dean, looking way too awake for someone who just flew across the Atlantic, starts knocking and doesn’t let up until Maggie answers. He teases them for being asleep, then asks if Colette’s available. She comes to the door and he admits he can’t remember the name of the club he wanted to find. She figures it out for him and gives him directions, but this is Dean, whose sense of direction apparently sucks when he doesn’t have an entire instrument panel in front of him. So, Colette’s going to have to show him where it is.

Laura and her mother are heading to dinner and seem to be getting along swimmingly. Laura tells her mother not to give up on Kate, that the three of them can have all sorts of fun adventures together, and it’ll be soooo great! Mom asks if one other person can tag along, and Laura says that they can brig dad, if she wants. But mom’s not talking about her husband, she’s talking about Laura’s fiancé, or rather ex-fiancé, who’s waiting for her with a bouquet of roses. Aww, this poor guy. Laura almost passes out when she sees him, and mom starts talking fast, reminding her daughter that she once loved Fiancé Greg enough to want to marry him. Except she didn’t love him enough to want to marry him, mom, that’s why she ran away. Laura realizes that Kate was right about their mom all along, that she was just manipulating her daughter, and she turns and runs back to the hotel.

There, she runs into Kate, who takes one look at her sister’s tearstained face and knows mom had to have been behind it.

The club’s far less happening than it was the last time Dean was there. Colette dismisses the sparse crowd as being due to the early hour. After half a cocktail, Dean gets up the courage to ask Colette to ask the manager what he knows about Bridget. She calls him over and asks him if he knows where Bridget is, because Dean’s her fiancé and would kind of like to know where the hell she disappeared to. The manager laughs and responds that Bridget likes her boyfriends, but she loves her husband. With some reluctance, she translates for Dean, whose face falls at the news.

Laura finds her mother in the restaurant and gives her a piece of her mind, telling her she was this close to getting her daughter back. “Which one?” mom asks. “The one you want,” Kate retorts. Mom says she wants them both. Well, stop nagging them, insulting their jobs, and manipulating them, mom. Before things can get really interesting, Bridget appears behind Kate and asks for the time. Kate turns and spots her and looks shocked, as well she might.

Bridget and Kate retire to an empty church for a talk. Kate asks where she’s been and Bridget nervously tells her she’s a ghost at the moment. Kate hands over the package and Bridget asks after Dean.

Dean’s drowning his sorrows at the club as Colette explains that secret marriages aren’t unheard of amongst the stewardesses. She throws him a bone by telling him she saw the lovey-dovey way Bridget used to look at Dean. I don’t think that’s going to help.

Back at the church, Bridget’s telling Kate the story of how, several months ago, she was supposed to take a picture of some man, but she missed him, so she tracked him down on her own time and got the shot. Problem was, someone saw her taking the picture, and she was warned by the Englishman at the club when she was there that night with Dean. She was deactivated at first, but eventually the powers that be decided to give her a new identity. She unwraps the package and finds a new driver’s license, which identifies her as Elizabeth Reese of Kansas City, Missouri. What? Why on earth would they try and give a British woman a new identity as a woman from Missouri? Are they trying to get her killed? That’s just stupid. It’s not like there aren’t other places in England they could say she was from. Bridget’s not too keen on the new ID either, and she actually wonders aloud where Missouri is. I hope she’s joking, because otherwise, that’s not saying a lot for Pan Am’s stewardesses. You’d hope they’d be aware of geographical areas of the country they’re flying around in a lot. Anyway, Bridget tells Kate that the powers that be wanted her to deliver this info so she could see firsthand the dangers of screwing up. Ok, but that seems a bit risky. What if one of the other stewardesses had seen them together? Wouldn’t it be kind of hard to explain how Kate ran into Bridget all of a sudden? Bridget goes on to warn Kate that the thrill and the thought of all the good you’re doing aren’t enough to risk anything. Kate’s not willing to ditch, though, and wonders if that makes her crazy. Yes, Kate, it kind of does. But to Bridget, it just means that Kate was the right recommendation after all.

Back at the hotel, Laura answers a knock on her door and finds Greg on the other side, adorably tongue-tied. She lets him in and tactlessly asks him where his flowers went. He tells her he gave them to an old lady in the lobby, who was overjoyed to receive them. Laura tells him she’s really, really sorry, but she just wasn’t ready to settle down and stop having adventures before she’d even started. He seems to understand, but he’s still hopeful they can get together. Laura tells him he has to let her go. So, he slips into storytelling mode, talking about how, when he was a kid, he started saving up to go scale Mt. Kilimanjaro. And then years later he took all that money and spent it on a ring for the woman who dumped him at the altar and humiliated him in front of all his family and friends. Nice going, Laura! Because he’s a nice guy, Greg doesn’t at all hold this against her, instead telling her he understands her need to go off and see the world. He even wishes her bon voyage. Man, I hope some nice girl snaps him up fast, because he’s sweet and deserves to be happy.

Ted, more than a couple of sheets to the wind, arrives back at his hotel room with a date just as Maggie’s returning to her room next door. He jokingly calls her the Tenderizer, which she doesn’t find funny at all, and then he tells her he got her a little present. She opens her door and finds a room service cart with flowers, champagne, and a donut with a knife sticking out of it. Ted laughs and says he learned not to piss off Maggie Ryan that day. Maggie turns around, hands on her hips, and tells Ted that she knows what her job is. She knows that part of it is letting guys flirt with her, and she can handle that, along with the weigh-ins and the girdle checks and all the other fun things that came with being a Pan Am stewardess. What she can’t handle was that Ted made it ok for Drunken Groper to try that on another stewardess. One who may not be able to handle herself so well. Ted’s smile disappears, and he tries to explain himself, but she slams the door in his face. He turns and sadly goes back toward his room, passing Laura’s and Kate’s mom as he goes.

She arrives at Kate’s room and shows her the passport that she did, in fact, have, and which she got the summer Kate became a stewardess. Looking like she’s about to cry, mom says that she needs both her daughters.

Dean and Colette are lost, and Dean’s pretty drunk. He thinks it’s hilarious that the French girl got lost in France and asks how one says ‘lost’ in French. “Perdu,” she tells him. “I am perdu,” he tells her. She laughs and corrects that to “we are lost” as they start to dance sweetly in the middle of the square. Get back in that saddle, Dean! At least you know this one’s not married!

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