The Crown: Smoke and Mirrors

Previously on The Crown: Elizabeth came to the throne, and the changes that came with it made her husband feel very emasculated.

It’s time to get this queen crowned! But first! Complications and religion!

We head back to 1937 to watch a really sweet moment between father and daughter. George wants to practice for his coronation and asks little Elizabeth to pretend to be the Archbishop. During their practice, he explains that the anointing part of the ceremony is the most sacred part, the bit where the monarch becomes something holy and divine. Elizabeth clearly soaks up the lesson. And, when she practices wearing the crown, she’s got her own children there with her. Traditions.

Continue reading “The Crown: Smoke and Mirrors”

The Crown: Act of God

Previously on The Crown: Elizabeth came to the throne and almost immediately found herself browbeaten and bullied by, well, everyone.

It’s a fine, clear day, but trouble’s a-brewing. At the Meteorological Society, some disturbing results are being uncovered and, in a bid to cover various asses, a report is sent to the PM’s office. There’s an anti-cyclone forming, which is bad, because a similar weather event in the US some years before trapped toxic fumes from a nearby factory close to the ground, poisoning a lot of people. And London’s power stations have a LOT of toxic fumes to trap.

Continue reading “The Crown: Act of God”

The Crown: Windsor

Previously on The Crown: Elizabeth’s father, George VI, died quite a bit earlier than anyone was expecting, thrusting her onto the throne.

The shadows of the abdication and the patriarchy loom loooong over this episode, everyone.

We start off in December 1936. While Edward (with Wallis hanging over him) goes over his final speech, Elizabeth and Margaret play in their surprisingly leafy garden. Winter weather patterns don’t have any effect on royal gardens, people. Mary sweeps into her eldest son’s study to beg him, one last time, not to make this speech, to stop being such an attention whore and just go away, already. But Edward is determined, because he’s nothing if not a selfish douchebag with little concern for anyone’s feelings but his own. And he wants everyone to know all about his feelings.

Continue reading “The Crown: Windsor”

Upstairs Downstairs: A Voice from the Past

Previously on Upstairs Downstairs: The Bellamys hired a housemaid, Sarah, who turned out to be something of a sociopath and compulsive liar. She had a flirtation with James, and then decided she was too good for servant-ing.

It’s autumn 1908. The Bellamys and Hudson are off to Scotland, leaving the house in the hands of Elizabeth and James. I can’t see how that would be a bad plan at all!

Elizabeth’s doing some charity work in an East End soup kitchen, and James tags along because he’s bored. While there, they run into none other than Sarah, the most repulsive character in this show’s history. In fact, she might be the most repulsive non-villain character I’ve ever come across on a television show, ever. She faints dramatically as soon as she sees James, then spins one of her elaborate lies about looking for a friend and blah, blah, blah. Clearly the past four years have not treated her well, and Elizabeth–who has no experience with this little nutter and therefore doesn’t know what she’s in for–takes her back to Eton Place and basically tells the servants there to figure out what to do with her.

Continue reading “Upstairs Downstairs: A Voice from the Past”

The Crown: Hyde Park Corner

Previously on The Crown: Princess Elizabeth married Prince Philip, who leans towards dickishness now and then, but his heart seems to be mostly in the right place. Unbeknownst to her, her father, King George VI, has been given a terminal cancer diagnosis.

Ready for shit to get real, folks?

Elizabeth and Philip embark on their Commonwealth tour, landing in Nairobi first. At last, my complaint about the royals seeming altogether too nice and too adored gets answered, because the speech she gives is some jaw-droppingly condescending imperialist bullshit. It’s all about how, not so long ago, Nairobi was an undeveloped backwater with nothing but nomadic tribes roaming around on it. But thank God the white people showed up! Now there are cities and civilisation and those nomads know how real humans should live, right? Mind you, at least half of this crowd (and probably a great deal more) is made up of those very nomadic tribes she’s slagging off.

Continue reading “The Crown: Hyde Park Corner”

The Crown: Wolferton Splash

Netflix has really pushed the boat out with this one. Everyone buzzed about that massive budget, and I will say: it was well spent. This is beautiful to look at, and it boasts a really top-notch cast. Even the one-liners are people you recognise. And that top-notch cast gives some wonderful performances. I’m going to particularly call out Jared Harris as George VI. He may not have George’s handsomeness, but he does convey his quick temper, brought on by endless frustration and stress, his tender side, and the naked fear of a suffering man who clearly wants his misery to end, but knows that having it over with also means saddling his fairly young daughter with serious responsibilities she may not be ready for. And he’s trying to hide all that because he’s a king, and a father, and he doesn’t want to alarm anyone. Can’t alarm anyone. This is a country and a family still trying to dig its way out of a devastating war, after all.

Continue reading “The Crown: Wolferton Splash”

Upstairs Downstairs: Why Is Her Door Locked?

Previously on Upstairs Downstairs: The kitchen maid, Emily, made it very clear she had some serious problems when, after being dumped by her boyfriend, she hanged herself.

It’s October 1907, and apparently London is plagued by some serious fog. And Mrs Bridges is plagued by something as well. She’s acting very oddly, barricading herself in her room, locking the door after leaving, coming down ridiculously late in the morning looking like absolute hell, and throwing around quite a bit of attitude. Any one of those things would normally be enough to get a servant fired, but I guess the Bellamys are feeling generous. Also, Marjorie’s got a dinner party the following week. Even so, she has some strong words with her cook and demands to know why her door was locked.

Continue reading “Upstairs Downstairs: Why Is Her Door Locked?”

Poldark: The Real Thing

Ross disperses a mob in Poldark season 2 episode 10Previously on Poldark: Ross screwed up big time, and the repercussions are likely to be far-reaching. Elizabeth married George, Caroline spurned Enys, and Demelza very nearly cheated.

Well, at least they ended strong.

George continues to prove that he’s not only an arrogant little idiot, but simply has no concept of when to stop already. It’s not enough that he’s married Elizabeth and now lives in the Poldark family’s ancestral home. Oh, no! Now he’s fencing in the land around Trenwith and setting those two thugs who almost killed Judd to policing the fenceline. They do, with quite a bit more force than is warranted. After some local faces are introduced to a pair of rifle butts, resentment in the neighbourhood begins to seriously seethe.

Continue reading “Poldark: The Real Thing”

Poldark: Aftermath

Previously on Poldark: Elizabeth realised she was looking down the barrel of many lonely years of widowhood and penury, so she accepted George Warleggan’s marriage proposal. An accident at Wheal Grace (plus, not having any more money) convinced Ross to close the mine down. After reaching that decision, and hearing of Elizabeth’s engagement, he went to Trenwith and raped her.

This show’s timeline issues really reached their apotheosis tonight, and it drove me nuts. I spent a good half of this episode thinking we were watching events unfolding the day after Ross’s night at Trenwith, when, in fact, they’re happening some days, even weeks, later. Which makes more than a few things not make sense.

Continue reading “Poldark: Aftermath”

Aiden Turner as Ross Poldark in Season 2 episode 8 of Poldark

Poldark: Look Up, and You’ll See Rock Bottom!

Previously on Poldark: Ross nearly got caught running around with the smuggling ring and was only saved by Enys’s intervention, which cost Enys Caroline. Elizabeth realised life is pretty chilly without a man, and when Ross wasn’t available to be at her beck and call, she immediately turned to George.

It’s another week, which means it’s time for things to get infinitely worse for everyone, including the viewer. Actually, that’s not entirely true–things are great for Verity, who seems to exist solely to prove that getting the hell out of this town is the best damn thing anyone can do for themselves. She comes back for a visit, accompanied by her crazy adorable stepson, who charms the heck out of everyone and possibly recruits Enys into the armed forces as a battle surgeon. Enys, drooping enormously after having been thoroughly dumped by Caroline (who returned all his letters and told him not to contact her again) actually seems to be considering it. Also: Verity’s pregnant! Hooray!

Continue reading “Poldark: Look Up, and You’ll See Rock Bottom!”