I’ll admit to being a little bit of a royal family junkie, so naturally I’ve been following all the tidbits leading up to the much-ballyhooed royal wedding, and entertaining myself with all the absurd bric-a-brac now available for sale. Fine china with someone else’s wedding date on it? Why would you want that? Or a cheap knockoff of the engagement ring?
This, however, totally cracked me up: a set of knitting patterns for the royal wedding, which even includes the Archbishop of Canterbury and one of the queen’s omnipresent corgis. Now, I’m a big knitter (thanks to my English grandmother, who put needles in my hands as soon as I was old enough to hold them properly), and I hate being without some sort of project, but even I have never been so desperate for something to do that I’ve felt the urge to knit up the whole royal family. Each one takes at least five hours to make, and once they’re done, what do you do with them? Display them next to your Franklin Mint Princess Diana commemorative doll?
To be quite honest, I think these would confuse people out of context. They don’t really look like the people they’re supposed to resemble, do they? William looks a bit like Postman Pat to me. And since when does Kate have dreadlocks? Eh, all in good fun, I guess, and I do like the cute details, like the queen’s purse and diamond brooch and the decorations on all the men’s uniforms. If you have the time and the inclination, the patterns are available in the book Knit Your Own Royal Wedding for £9.99. Stitch away, knit wits!