Outlander: The Reckoning

outlander-s01e09-the-reckoning-1080p-mkv_001145269Previously on Outlander: Claire got captured (again) and taken to Randall, who decided to start the torture at around level 8 by slicing her nipples off. Fortunately, Jamie came bursting in at just the right moment.

Jamie gets voiceover duty this week, and thank god for that, because Sam Heughan is much better at it than Catriona Balfe. She’s a fine actress, and I like her, but voiceover is not her strong suit.

Jamie muses about how strange it is that we remember some things really clearly and others…not. He keeps on about how one day he realised that every step he’d taken in life was a choice. Thanks for those incredibly trite observations, Jamie.

Continue reading “Outlander: The Reckoning”

Outlander: Both Sides Now

Outlander_S1_E8_article_story_largePreviously on Outlander: Claire and Jamie got married.

A phone rings at a police station and is answered by a sergeant. It’s some crazy lady on the other end, so he pauses the non-vital conversation long enough to let some higher up know that Frank’s still hanging about. He’s practically set up camp in the local police station. The higher up sighs that he’s let this go on long enough and today’s the day he needs to put an end to it. The sergeant pulls a bottle of whisky out of his desk. You know the Sots always have a bottle of whisky in their desks. My office alone is practically keeping Macallen in business.

Continue reading “Outlander: Both Sides Now”

Outlander: The Wedding

outlander-weddingPreviously on Outlander: Claire fell into the clutches of Randall, who proved he’s a dangerous sociopath who really, really likes to hurt people. Dougal rescued her before things got too horrifyingly rough, but she’s going to have to report back for her beating within 24 hours. The only way out is to marry the hottest guy on the show. Poor girl.

The camera pans over the wreckage of a feast and a cat snacking on it before we flash back to the 1940s. Claire and Frank are on their way to meet his parents but he detours past a registry office and asks her to marry him right then and there. Claire points out that it’s going to be a little weird to meet his parents for the first time and be unexpectedly introduced as their daughter-in-law, but he overrides her objections fairly easily and we know how things went from there.

Continue reading “Outlander: The Wedding”

Outlander: The Garrison Commander

Outlander 2014Previously on Outlander: Claire accompanied Dougal et al on a trip across MacKenzie lands that was both to collect rents and raise money for the upcoming Stuart uprising. She also crossed paths with a British lieutenant posing as a blacksmith, who tracked her down to ask if she’s ok.

We pick up right where we left off, with the lieutenant asking Claire if she’s with Dougal by choice. She reassures him that she’s a guest of the clan. Why did she do that? Was she that worried about what these guys would do to Dougal if she said he was keeping her prisoner? That’s quite generous of her, considering how obsessed she is with getting away from these people.

Continue reading “Outlander: The Garrison Commander”

Outlander: Rent

outlander-5-2Previously on Outlander: Claire’s plan to escape during the clan gathering didn’t work out, but her cool headedness when dealing with a man’s mortal wound made Dougal choose to bring her along on a rent-gathering road trip.

Claire looks out on a loch and starts reciting Absence, Hear Thou my Protestation by John Donne. An older man joins her and adds his voice to the recitation. The other boys are wrestling and kind of hazing one of the younger men who’s joining the group for the first time. Claire introduces us to the poetry lover: Ned Gowan, a lawyer who seems to have a perpetual tickly throat. He’s along to help Dougal with the records and receipts, since he’s the only man Dougal will trust with the money. He shows Claire the bag for rents and tells her the various forms the rent can take: money, livestock, cabbages. He only refuses to take live pigs. Claire’s concerned about his cough and he explains that he has allergies, essentially. Claire offers to help him out and fills a pipe with thorn apple (jimsonweed), which CVO tells us relieves the symptoms of asthma. He smokes away and starts to feel better.

Continue reading “Outlander: Rent”

Outlander: The Gathering

Outlander-1x04-The-Gathering-outlander-2014-tv-series-37483094-900-506Previously on Outlander: Claire defied the severely backwards local priest in order to cure a boy of a case of poisoning.

Claire has apparently decided to pass the time playing with some of the castle children. As they emerge from the woods, guards in lookout posts tense, but then realise what’s going on and relax. One of the kids notes that Claire keeps losing things like hair ribbons in the woods but she shrugs it off. Her guards try to direct her back to the castle, where the gathering of the clan is getting underway, but Claire is using the game with the kids as a method of getting the lay of the terrain around the castle. Her lost hair ribbon and fichu have been left as markers along possible escape routes. Her guards beg her to come back to the castle, since it’s been years since there was a Gathering, and Claire finally agrees.

Continue reading “Outlander: The Gathering”

Outlander: A Song for Claire Randall

215100Previously on Outlander: Claire Randall travelled back in time to 1743 and found herself a prisoner/guest of the Clan MacKenzie.

Claire flashes back to the day her husband saw her off to war and she gave him shit for trying to use his connections to keep her away from the most dangerous places. He realises it’s impossible to argue with her and helps her onto the train. They kiss and exchange promises to be together again.

In the 18th century, Claire flinches through a cold-water bath and Mrs Fitz comments on how nice Claire’s skin is and how lucky her next husband will be. That makes Claire sad and she tells Fitz her husband’s not dead, he just hasn’t been born yet. Like any normal person, Fitz is seriously confused, so Claire explains that she seems to have travelled through time. Yes, this seems like a really good idea, Claire, and not a situation where you’re likely to be accused of insanity or witchcraft or both. Claire mentions the stones and Fitz admits she’s heard strange tales of the stones. Claire desperately says she’s not an English spy, she’s just from the future. Riiight. Claire says she needs to get back to the stones and wonders if the MacKenzies will help her if she explains. Oh, for heaven’s sake, Claire. Fitz accuses her of being an evil daemon and a witch…

Continue reading “Outlander: A Song for Claire Randall”

Outlander: ‘Guest’ Is So Much Nicer than ‘Prisoner’

Previously on Outlander: Claire Randall’s inability to keep her hands to herself got her sent back to 1743, where she found herself in the hands of the clan Mackenzie, avoiding her husband’s creepy doppelganger ancestor. Claire and her captors/hosts arrive at Castle Leoch and dismount in the courtyard. Claire warily looks around and VOs that she’s going to have to get someone to help her … Continue reading Outlander: ‘Guest’ Is So Much Nicer than ‘Prisoner’

Outlander: Girl Walks Into a Stone Circle…

Claire+at+stones_595_slogoMay I just say that it’s ABOUT DAMN TIME this show aired on our side of the pond?! It’s only SET HERE. And it’s still not airing on TV, so only those of us with Amazon Prime can access it. Get it together, programmers, you know you’ll get millions of viewers. What’s the holdup?

Ok, I’m done ranting. Let’s do this recap.

Claire VOs (ugh, the voiceover, one of my great narrative bugbears) that people disappear all the time: kids, desperate housewives, etc, and most are eventually found. Most.

Claire stops by a shop and looks in the window and talks about how she’s never lived in a place long enough to even own a vase, and now she really just wants a vase. Man, her needs are few. VO explains that it’s six months after the end of WWII.

Continue reading “Outlander: Girl Walks Into a Stone Circle…”